Unworthy

Let me
Break down this word
as it has
Broken me down

It speaks of a
pre-existing condition
Worthy
which has been inoculated
by the powerful un

Un can take what is finished
and make it un-finished
Un can take what is known
and make it un-known
what was, by definition, finalized
is forever altered, forever un-done

I once was Worthy
I knew this from my
childhood
It was stitched in
If I twirl and spin
you will forever praise
If I give you a scribbled chaos
it will be your masterpiece
My little is great
My all is Worthy

Worthy. Worthy. Worthy.

So, who threw the stone of un
that knocked my Worthy to the ground?
Who fastened so permanently
the un-dying
the un-winding un
to my once Worthy?
Not who but the gradual
eroding
of the many yous who
told me I am not adequate
Not smart enough
Not pretty enough
Not…enough
Un-deserving
Till your judgments
become my thoughts
which transform
my mentality
then my reality
and my finality

Thus begins the synthesis
of un and Worthy
so inseparable
two sides of me
I am remade
into who you say

Unworthy
My worthiness is now
more than questionable
more than forgettable
It becomes infinitely
non-existant
Insignificant
Insufficient

This is how I was
broken down
A life labeled unWorthy
is a life un-lived
I walk with my head down
Missing life and all of its joys
I do not try for fear of failure
I do not seek for fear of…being loved

Who but YOU could sever the un from my Worthy
To make me
Worthy again
And bring the un
to my afraid
the un
to my ashamed
the un
to my defeated
where it rightfully belongs
Till I am left with just Worthy

Worthy. Worthy. Worthy.

The name that
rings in truth
wrings out the lies
that settles disputes
and clears my foggy eyes

I am Worthy.

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